I was surprised at the stir created by my
blogpost earlier this week, “Ten Things Church Members Desire in a
Pastor.” When I did the initial survey and wrote an article on it, I
viewed it as just a fun exercise that would get minimal attention. I was wrong.
The article hit a nerve.
One of the many commenters suggested I conduct a similar
exercise and find out what pastors desire in a church member. I took that as a
friendly and helpful suggestion. As a result, I interviewed 23 pastors with a
simple and open-ended question, “What do you desire in church member?” The
pastors could respond with an unlimited number of desires, but most pastors
mentioned fewer than four.
Here are their responses in order of frequency. As in my
previous article, I note the desire and follow it with a representative quote.
Vibrant prayer life.
“While I do want church members to pray for me specifically, I really want them
to pray faithfully in all matters.”
Spirit of unity.
“I want our church members to be uncompromising on cardinal issues, but I
also want them to be willing to yield to others on minor issues and issues
of preference.”
Respect of pastor’s
family. “It’s okay if my family is not given preferential treatment by the
church. We really want it that way. But I don’t want church members to have
unreasonable expectations on my wife and kids just because their husband and
dad is the pastor.”
Members who are
critical to my face. “Like most people, I don’t like criticism. But I know
it goes with the territory. I would just ask that any critics speak to me
directly instead of speaking about me behind my back.”
Encouragers. “I
don’t have to be applauded for everything I do, but I sure do appreciate those
members who are the encouragers in my life. I don’t know what I would do
without them.”
Faithful attendees.
“I’m really not numbers obsessed, but when people faithfully attend worship
services and small groups, I know the church is important to their lives.”
Members who share
their faith. “I’ve been in ministry 34 years. The most faithful church
members who make a difference in my life and the church are those who are
consistent in sharing their faith.”
Members who lead
their families spiritually. “The church can only do so much for families
spiritually. But it’s great when both the church and family leaders work
together to grow disciples in their own families.”
Members who confront
other members for being negative and critical. “It really is a great
feeling to know there are members in the church that have my back. Sometimes
criticism of me is justified; but on other occasions the criticism comes from
one of a small number of people.”
Members who read the
Bible regularly. “I can’t ever remember a member who reads the Bible daily
who became a challenge in the church. It just seems like people in the Word
don’t act like people in the world.”
From here
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