Nice people are killing churches: Tell them to stop.

Posted by Todd Rhoades in Leadership on Feb 18th, 2013

Paul Alexander explains why the ‘nice guys’ are killing churches:

1. Nice people have a tendency to hire people that they like rather than people who are going to advance the mission of the church. In other words it’s okay to lose as long as you’re losing with friends.

2. Nice people avoid conflict and by so doing don’t mine the best ideas out of their teams.

3. Nice people keep people on their teams well after the work has surpassed their capacity. This not only slows the mission but it exposes the weaknesses of and hurts the very person they’re trying to protect.

4. Nice people don’t confront the brutal facts and as a result “hallway conversations” take place and a lack of unity begins to undermine the mission.

5. Nice people sacrifice the flock for the sake of one sheep. This happens every time you let that one person sing who has no business singing (if you’ve been around church-world for any length of time you know exactly what I’m talking about).

Our churches are filled with ‘nice guys’.  And I agree, nice guys can kill churches.  We need to treat each other with grace and love. But we also need to treat each other with truth. Truth, covered in grace and love.  Many times, nice guys just choose the grace and love parts. And the church dies… a slow and agonizing death.

From here

http://toddrhoades.com/nice-people-are-killing-churches-tell-them-to-stop-it/

Why I Disagree with “Ashes to Go”

On Ash Wednesday, a number of Episcopal Churches across the country embraced the innovative practice of distributing ashes in public settings – in parks, plazas and on the streets of cities with most using the catchy title "Ashes to Go". 

In Pittsburgh the Episcopal Bishop Dorsey McConnell and the clergy of Trinity Cathedral took their ashes to Market Square.  The Diocese promoted this practice with a trendy video on the front page of their website.  Click here. 

http://www.episcopalpgh.org/a-special-lenten-message-from-bishop-mcconnell/

This morning local Episcopal blogger Dr. Jim Simons gathered and posted links of news coverage from around the country of Episcopal Churches that offered ashes in this way. Click here  http://3riversepiscopal.blogspot.com/2013/02/more-ashes-to-go-coverage.html  

Yesterday the Pittsburgh Post Gazette offered this. Click here  

http://www.post-gazette.com/stories/local/region/episcopal-church-offers-ashes-to-go-to-its-flock-675122/#ixzz2KmQuJGzr

The blog Episcopal Café covered the practice too,  going as far as calling it a means of “Episcopal evangelism.”  Click here 
http://www.episcopalcafe.com/lead/spirituality/ashes_to_go.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+episcopalcafe+%28Episcopal+Cafe%29

One of my parishioners asked me about 10 days ago if I were going to do “drive-by ashes” this year on the main street corner in Canonsburg.  I politely declined her appeal to do so. Click here.

http://host.madison.com/lifestyles/faith-and-values/religion/in-the-spirit-pastors-to-offer-drive-thru-ashes-on/article_b2588156-753c-11e2-a3c7-0019bb2963f4.html#ixzz2KmS6Nqtz

I find the practice of applying ashes to someone’s forehead willy-nilly on the street to be repugnant, demeaning, and impersonal. It is taking totally out of context the solemn liturgy that calls for repentance of sin and amendment of life.  To me it can be likened to the difference of receiving cash from an ATM machine and receiving cash from a human bank teller. And cheapens the seriousness of it all. It reminds of that other uniquely Episcopal innovation, The Clown Eucharist. 

One of my colleagues told me that the main Roman Catholic Church in downtown Pittsburgh has a somewhat similar practice.  You enter the church on the front street entrance receive your ashes right inside the door, walk down the side aisle and exit out the entrance on the side street – as if you were going through the drive-thru window at the local fast food emporium -- "you're in, you're out, that's what McDonalds is all about!"  This isn’t a whole lot different than Ashes to Go on the street.  And I would hardly call either the method used by the Romans or the Episcopalians evangelistic.   

The Story of the Community of Celebration

Following is an article concerning the release of a book written by a member of the Community of Celebration explaining his view of their history and purpose. Gale and I lived in Aliquippa during the arrival of the Community and were members of All Saints' Church. All Saints' became a centerpiece of their ministry and an early base of operations following their relocation from Scotland. They greatly influenced the worship in the Diocese of Pittsburgh especially among parishes that were active in "renewal" and Cursillo in the 1980s and 1990s.. Although we remained friends with many of their members, Gale and did not find their lifestyle one we could personally embrace.

 Posted: Friday, February 4, 2011, 17:25 (GMT)

This well received book tells the story of a remarkable movement of the Holy Spirit in the latter half of the twentieth century. Based in Britain, the Community of Celebration and its ministering teams known as the Fisherfolk attracted crowds in churches and cathedrals through their worship. Recordings sold in thousands. Christians around the world were inspired to make the attempt at community living.After featuring prominently in the ‘renewal’ scene for a number of years, the Community began to adopt a lower public profile. But it did not come to an end. It continued, at times with several branches, slowly evolving over a period of decades. Beginning as an almost hippie-style commune with an international ministry, they gradually became smaller, more locally focused and reflective.

After relocating to Aliquippa, an old steel town in desperate need near Pittsburgh (USA), their life and ministry developed through several phases until they achieved formal recognition as a religious community of The Episcopal Church of the United States. Today they are a familiar Christian presence in the town, with their own purpose built chapel, providing a focus and support for other agencies which have since come with a mission to the poor of Aliquippa.

Following the Spirit is the story of the Community of Celebration. Taking its title from a TV documentary describing the extraordinary renewal in Houston in the sixties that led to the founding of the Community of Celebration in Britain, it traces the development of the ‘religious order’ concept that was ultimately to become the Community’s identity. The Community’s founder, Graham Pulkingham, became less and less essential to it as its members took on the work of establishing that identity for themselves. The subtitle of the book is 'Seeing Christian faith through community eyes'. Community living confronted many issues in ordinary church life, where institutional needs and social and religious conventions powerfully control the way people think and what is practically possible. Often, the real casualty here is a truly Christian spirituality that unites the human and the divine.

A major section of the book looks at several issues in which there was a characteristic ‘community’ way of looking at things. For some, the Community’s evolution was as much a spiritual and theological journey as one in life experience, and a third section attempts to give a flavour of this. The author’s own background, for example, is evangelical and charismatic. That inspired the move to community living and yet the very circumstances of community life promoted a deeper appreciation of the Incarnation and its implications for Christian life and theology.

The author, Philip Bradshaw, is an Anglican priest who has taken life vows in the Community of Celebration. He and his wife live near London, where they maintain a Community house on behalf of the parent Community in the USA.

 Order it from the Community’s website: www.communityofcelebration.com

 From here: http://www.christiantoday.com/article/the.story.of.the.community.of.celebration/27470.htm 

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A more critical view of their community was written by the former religion writer of the Washington Post, Julia Duin, titled Days of Fire and Glory. A description of the book on Amazon.com says this, "It was the late summer of 1986 when Julia Duin moved to Houston as the new religion writer for The Houston Chronicle. At the invitation of friends, she visited the Episcopal Church of the Redeemer in Houston's blighted East End and fell in love with its gorgeous music and charismatic worship. After she met Graham Pulkingham, the spellbinding priest who had led Redeemer into a powerful renewal starting in 1964, Duin became convinced the world needed to know the story of this gifted man and his church. As she began investigating the story, many warned her there was a darker history behind Pulkingham. Now the journalist who first broke that story reveals the details of the scandal that rocked the charismatic and Christian community movements, and the Episcopal Church. Duin provides a fascinating portrait of the glorious days of the renewal and its sister movements within Catholic and Pentecostal churches".

You can find it here

http://www.amazon.com/Days-Fire-Glory-Charismatic-Community/dp/0979027977/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1360591151&sr=8-1&keywords=julia+duin

Nine Characteristics of Happy Churches

By Thom S. Rainer

“Happy” is a nebulous term. It is usually understood better than defined. So I know I am taking a risk when I used such a subjective word.

Please allow me to explain. For almost twenty years, I served as a consultant to churches in the United States and Canada. After working with hundreds of churches, I saw several patterns develop. One of those patterns correlated directly with the happiness of the church. I was able to discern happiness by the interviews with members and staff, with diagnostic tools we used, and with a grasp of the histories of the churches, particularly in the area of church conflict.

Recently I reviewed the files of 17 of the happiest churches where I consulted. As is typical in consultations, patterns emerged. In the case of these churches, I found nine common characteristics among the congregations. In each case, the characteristic seemed to contribute to the overall happiness of the churches.

1.      The pastor was a strong leader, but not an autocratic leader. He was able to maintain that healthy balance of providing clarity of vision without imposing his will on every decision.

2.      The pastor regularly demonstrated and affirmed love for the congregation. In both his actions and his words, the pastor communicated clearly that he loved the members of the church. And he loved them regardless of their apparent feelings toward him, though most of the members genuinely loved the pastor as well.

3.      The pastor regularly demonstrated and affirmed love for the community where the church was located. Though he could not be omnipresent, the pastor made it a point to be involved in many of the affairs of the community. He genuinely loved people in the community and viewed the entire area as his mission field.

4.      The ministry staff liked each other, and they worked well together. If there are tensions among the staff, they cannot be hidden from the congregation. But if the staff is unified and banter in fun with one another, the members feed off that joy and unity.

5.      A high proportion of the membership was actively involved in ministry. When church members are doing the work of ministry, they have a sense of fulfillment and joy. When they aren’t, they often have extra time on their hands to be divisive.

6.      Business meetings (i.e., vestry) were brief and friendly. These meetings were rarely a time of infighting and complaining. To the contrary, most of the members were too busy doing ministry to be negative (see #5).

7.      A high proportion of the members were in a small group or Sunday school class. Community grew in these small groups. People who are true members of a community tend to be happier people.

8.      The pastor’s time in the Word was protected. It is easy for a pastor to yield his time in the Word for the tyranny of the urgent. Thus he becomes frustrated, as he has to rush to complete a sermon, or as he does not have sufficient time to do the sermon well. The members likewise become frustrated because they don’t feel like the pastor is feeding them. A happy church makes certain that the pastor has adequate time every week to be in the Word.

9.      The pastor had a small informal or formal group to whom he was accountable. This group includes those members who clearly love the pastor. They offer both encouragement and accountability for him. The interchange between this group and the pastor is frank, transparent and, overall, healthy. And all communications take place on an unmistakable foundation of love.

From here   http://thomrainer.com/2013/02/06/nine-characteristics-of-happy-churches/

Caption Contest

During my recent trip to Uganda my fellow traveler, the Rev. Dan Morgan, rector of All Saints' Anglican Church Woodbridge VA, snapped this photo from the window of our bus while travelling back to Kampala from Uganda Christian University in Mukono.  I thought it would make a great Caption Contest for the clergy of the Anglican Diocese of Pittsburgh.  So we held the contest during January.  We had eight entries.  

First Place - "Archbishop Robert Duncan moves Provincial Offices to Colorado."

Second Place - "I know the Archbishop is worried about the provincial budget, but…"

Third Place - "Maybe that incense has a higher purpose after all."

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Congratulations to the Rev. David Trautman who sent in both the winner and the third place entries and to second place entrant, the Rev. Canon Mary Maggard Hays.  David wins a $15.00 gift certificate to the Sharp Edge 

Ten Things Pastors Desire in a Church Member

By Thom Rainer

January 19, 2013 

  

I was surprised at the stir created by my blogpost earlier this week, “Ten Things Church Members Desire in a Pastor.” When I did the initial survey and wrote an article on it, I viewed it as just a fun exercise that would get minimal attention. I was wrong. The article hit a nerve.

One of the many commenters suggested I conduct a similar exercise and find out what pastors desire in a church member. I took that as a friendly and helpful suggestion. As a result, I interviewed 23 pastors with a simple and open-ended question, “What do you desire in church member?” The pastors could respond with an unlimited number of desires, but most pastors mentioned fewer than four.

Here are their responses in order of frequency. As in my previous article, I note the desire and follow it with a representative quote.

Vibrant prayer life. “While I do want church members to pray for me specifically, I really want them to pray faithfully in all matters.”

Spirit of unity. “I want our church members to be uncompromising on cardinal issues, but I also want them to be willing to yield to others on minor issues and issues of preference.”

Respect of pastor’s family. “It’s okay if my family is not given preferential treatment by the church. We really want it that way. But I don’t want church members to have unreasonable expectations on my wife and kids just because their husband and dad is the pastor.”

Members who are critical to my face. “Like most people, I don’t like criticism. But I know it goes with the territory. I would just ask that any critics speak to me directly instead of speaking about me behind my back.”

Encouragers. “I don’t have to be applauded for everything I do, but I sure do appreciate those members who are the encouragers in my life. I don’t know what I would do without them.”

Faithful attendees. “I’m really not numbers obsessed, but when people faithfully attend worship services and small groups, I know the church is important to their lives.”

Members who share their faith. “I’ve been in ministry 34 years. The most faithful church members who make a difference in my life and the church are those who are consistent in sharing their faith.”

Members who lead their families spiritually. “The church can only do so much for families spiritually. But it’s great when both the church and family leaders work together to grow disciples in their own families.”

Members who confront other members for being negative and critical. “It really is a great feeling to know there are members in the church that have my back. Sometimes criticism of me is justified; but on other occasions the criticism comes from one of a small number of people.”

Members who read the Bible regularly. “I can’t ever remember a member who reads the Bible daily who became a challenge in the church. It just seems like people in the Word don’t act like people in the world.”

From here

http://thomrainer.com/2013/01/19/ten-things-pastors-desire-in-a-church-member/#.UPt9Sx1MN7s

Troubles in the Land of TEC

From Virtue Online 1/17/2013 

Many, perhaps most, Christian congregations in the United States are approaching an ecclesial fiscal cliff, says George Clifford an ethicist and Priest Associate at the Church of the Nativity, Raleigh, NC. "For specifics, consider The Episcopal Church (TEC). From 2007 through 2011 (the last year for which data is available), the number of parishes declined from 7055 to 6736 (6.5%), the number of Episcopalians declined from 2.1 to 1.9 million (9.1%), and average Sunday attendance declined from 727,822 to 657,887 (9.6%). The 2011 mean average Sunday attendance was 97; median average Sunday attendance was 65 (half of all congregations were above 65 and half below); and 68% of our congregations reported an average Sunday attendance of fewer than 100.

"If those numbers are insufficiently grim, consider attendance in the context of finances.

"The average pledge in 2011 was $2410. Optimistically assuming that a congregation's number of pledging units equals its average Sunday attendance, then the average income for Episcopal congregations in 2011 was $233,770. (Surprisingly, that assumption is not too far off the mark in terms of total income per congregation. In 2010 (last available year), average income per TEC congregation was $244,719.) For an Episcopal congregation whose average Sunday attendance was 67 (the median for TEC, with half of our congregations being larger and half-smaller), income from 67 pledgers who gave the denominational average would be $161,470. (All data from the TEC research office's website.)

"What can $162,000 - or even $244,000 - in revenue support for an Episcopal congregation in 2012 or 2013? The diocesan asking is generally 10% or more of pledge income. A full-time priest can easily cost a congregation $100,000 in stipend, housing, pension, healthcare coverage, and any other benefits. Operating a building (utilities, insurance, cleaning, perhaps a mortgage) probably runs upward, and perhaps substantially upwards, of $30,000. Allowing for other items deemed essential (audits, music, religious education materials, etc.), an average sized congregation can quickly find itself in a position of having insufficient funds to operate in accordance with members' expectations.

"A growing number of congregations, perhaps already a plurality within TEC, are insufficient to pay the diocesan asking, fund a full-time priest, and properly maintain their physical plant. Deferred maintenance on the physical plant is perhaps the most common means of covering a revenue shortfall. Other options include spending endowment funds' principal, reneging on the diocesan asking, and eliminating perceived "essentials" (such as a paid musician, fresh religious education materials, etc.). Many congregations rely on several of these strategies.

"Each year, the speed with which this ecclesial fiscal cliff approaches accelerates. Attendance declines, expenses increase, and options for covering financial shortfalls diminish. Episcopalians' average age, perhaps somewhere between 50 and 60, which portends growing numbers of losses from death, seems likely to compound the speed with which the ecclesial fiscal cliff draws near because TEC membership gains widely lag losses due to death and other causes."

Also from Virtue Online 

The irony should not be missed. The Episcopal News Service has launched a new section for obituaries. In response to readers' requests, Episcopal News Service is expanding its offerings and now provides a special area of reader-submitted obituaries. "The new section of the Episcopal News Service website has been designed to allow people to submit their own Episcopal-related obituaries in an easy, user-friendly manner."

Meanwhile VOL announces a new link at its website for dying and for sale parishes across North America. Please don't hesitate to send us stories of closing churches. We will publish them promptly.

From here 

http://www.virtueonline.org/portal/modules/news/article.php?storyid=17097#.UPli9x1MN7s